As clear as that feeling of being meant for more is, it’s not an easy one to act on. It can be overwhelming to know you are meant for more and yet be unsure of what that “more” is or how to make it happen.

If you have a hidden belief—as so many of us do—that in order to be successful you have to give up something important, like your integrity, your quirkiness, or time with your family, it can stop you in your tracks.

And it can be demoralizing to look around and see people with a weaker work ethic and less talent and heart getting ahead simply because they seem to have a knack for talking themselves up to the right people.

The bridge between feeling you are meant for more and making that more come true is putting yourself out there, whether that means starting a business, marketing the one you already have, or sharing your ideas in a bigger way.

And any of these things requires some form of selling—something most people are resistant to. I know what you might be thinking. Do I have to tell people about myself and my work? Can’t I just build it and they will come? Or envision it and it will happen? Isn’t there some way to skip the sales part? The simple answer is no. No, you can’t leave your gifts, your impact, and your happiness—as well as the gifts, impact, and happiness of others—up to chance. Well, you can, but it essentially keeps your gifts a secret and your rewards elusive.

And I’m guessing you already know how frustrating that is. I know that the very thought of selling yourself can bring up all kinds of negative associations—a smarmy used-car salesman, or scripted telemarketer, or aggressive perfume sales clerk who follows you around the mall.

But I have been in sales for over 30 years, and I can tell you there is a bigger, more loving way to look at selling that is every bit as real as these stereotypes.

Whether you’re pitching an idea to your kids, advice to a friend, a career change to your spouse, or a product or service to a potential client, sales is about creating an opportunity for transformation.

It’s about seeking the greatest good for everyone involved—you and the person you’re seeking a yes from. It’s not about manipulating people, pushing, or winning.